Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Battlefield of the mind

"You're not good enough. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone like you?". "You're SO stupid, and ugly for the matter. Do you really think anyone would want to take the time to hang out with you?" "Your husband doesn't love you, he's just stuck with you." "Your entire family would be better off without you." Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, then the enemy is at war with you. He begins bombarding our minds with clever little thoughts, using a well laid out strategy causing us to begin to believe the things we are thinking. The thoughts above is what I heard since I was a little girl. Not only did the enemy use my mind against me, he had my family re-confirm it.
It was my first day of kindergarten and my Dad must have been drunk or hung over because his breathe smelled rancid and he could barely stand. He took me out of the house and sat me on the hood of his jeep under the carport, all the while I tried to avoid eye contact and stared at the olive green paint peeling on the corners of the house. He grabbed my face and my hand and shoved a marble into it. "Keep this marble between your knees Heather, that way you wont be a slut and you wont get pregnant. That's all the guys will want from you anyway." I started crying and tried to look away. I hated what he was telling me, I didn't understand it but I knew it he was speaking some terrible things over my life. He let go of my face and staggered away saying, "If you don't keep that marble between your knees, you'll be pregnant by the time your 16 and be another high school drop out."
Moments like this were a constant in my life. I had begun to believe I was nothing, that I was a piece of trash among other things that people had said to me. One of the strong points of the enemy is that he has patience and slowly built a web around me my entire life. He knows what we like and don't like, he knows our fears, and insecurities and plays on them. It wasn't until my best friend and sister in Christ taught me about taking my mind captive. It's probably the most valuable lesson she has ever taught me and backed this lesson with her support, friendship, and guidance.
Taking my mind captive meant that I had to stand on the word of God, believing in his promises that are spoken in his word. Whenever a negative thought came racing to my mind, I replaced it with a scripture that I learned or praying to Jesus to take that particular thought captive. The weapons of the word are the most powerful, besides praising God and prayer. John 8:31,32 states, "...if you abide in my word [hold fast to my teachings and live in accordance to them], you are truly My disciples. And you will know the truth, and the Truth will set you free." My past may explain why I was suffering but it wasn't an excuse to stay in the bondage I was in. I wanted to be free!
It certainly wasn't easy and I thought at the time as a new person in Christ that it was a crock! How can saying certain words over and over make these thoughts, and feelings go away. Little did I realize what the bible meant about the scripture being "God-breathed" and "alive". The more I focused on Christ and his word, the less frequently I had to battle my thoughts. 1 Corinthians 10:13 best explains the way out of negative thoughts, memories, and feelings from the amplified bible. "For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin, no matter how it comes or where it leads) has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as a man can bear]. But God is faithful [to his word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place)that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently."
The enemy knows how to take our life's circumstances and created strongholds and walls within our lives that keeps us from being free to be the person God created us to be. It was a very long uphill battle when it came to my thoughts. After I would fight and win a battle over thoughts like being white trash, something new would come along like not being thin enough for my husband and sadly enough I would believe it before my friend would set me straight and I would again take my mind captive. But thank God, he provides a way out. He alone is my anchor and my weapon of choice is the bible. What helped solidify this practice in my life was also reading "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer...for anyone in need of learning how to have faith in God's word and how to take your thoughts captive...I HIGHLY recommend it.

1 comment:

  1. I love your new blogpage! I also enjoy when you write my friend. I love you! Angela


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