Last week I posted about how God uses life interruptions to get our attention, to lead us in the direction He wants for us-- for His purpose. Sometimes, He wants to ensure our attention is directly on Him.
My life has taken a totally unexpected direction because of two pink lines--well more like eight pink lines. Yes, I'm talking about taking four pregnancy tests, all of which turned up positive. I noted that I was late again as usual, and my chest was sore. Chris then joked I ought to take a pregnancy test, so I did--just to prove as usual, I was not pregnant. Before I was finished washing my hands, the digital test chirped it's results...PREGNANT. My heart stopped-- wait a minute, this must be an error. In shock, I tossed the test to Chris, we looked at one another before erupting into hysterical laughter while getting dressed to go buy more tests.
Chris and I had always wanted four children. Friends and family that know Chris and I knew how difficult it was to get pregnant, Cheyenne and Elijah were space unintentionally eight years apart. I was told at the age of 15 that because of several reproductive issues, I would never conceive on my own. So after becoming pregnant with Cheyenne at 17 and then becoming a mother again eight years later, we were thrilled.
After being deliriously happy with Cheyenne and Elijah, we decided we wanted one more child. I went through several embarrassing tests, only to have the specialist say, "Your environment is too hostile for Chris' swimmers." In other words, my body was sending out the command to kill anything foreign that entered my body, that included Chris' swimmers. Add the command to kill to other issues like PCOS and a limited number of eggs, and you get the picture... We went through several rounds of fertility treatments before becoming pregnant with Tori.
Fast forward nearly three years later, and after much prayer, we knew that another baby was not an option or in God's plan at the moment....or so we thought. We began getting out of baby mode while I looked forward to focusing on freedom, my MOPS ministry, being there for Cheyenne's appointments and school work. The idea of another baby was a sweet thought but nothing too serious, especially after caring for a high maintenance baby as another way to earn income. My daycare babe definitely turned me off to the idea of motherhood.
As moms we wade the waters of what the norm is for our culture. Most christian mothers love the idea of having a big brood, but are concerned with the reactions she will get if she chooses to have more children than the national average--which is currently two kids. Still the other worries are expenses, and whether or not it's irresponsible to pose the question of another child.
Because our plans at three were happily interrupted with the news of our fourth child, we announced our news. Most friends and family were excited, but the reactions were mixed with several comments of,
- "Wow I bet that was an accident."
- "Don't pull your hair out, you're going to have a busy house."
- "What were you thinking, this is so irresponsible."
- "You cannot afford another child."
- "Weren't you thinking about how this was going to affect your bills and your other kids."
- "Don't you know how to prevent pregnancy?"
It means that we as parents have become integrated into this culture and the norm of it all. It means the persons who have made these comments do not trust God fully, nor do they keep their focus on what God wants for them; they are awash in the tide of this culture.
Life's interruptions always have a purpose and are part of His plan for each of us--with that said, I don't think going out and having hundreds of children are a good idea. Each couple has a different purpose and circumstance in which God works through. In the meantime we have to trust what He is doing, be thankful for His plans, and reveal in the joy of another life!