Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Reflection Of Me Through Parenting Moments

    For the fifth time in less than three minutes, I hauled Tori back into her bed while taking more toys from her room. I was beyond frustrated with her not staying bed. I just wanted to decompress in the depths of quiet and alone time before I went to bed. Not understanding why I was so aggravated, I sent up a silent prayer to God. I shouldn't have been so angry, after all, motherhood is about training your child in obedience and to hear God's voice and clearly Tori had her own ideas about bedtime. That's when I heard God reply back, "You aren't angry with her, you are upset because you see reflections of your mistakes in your child."
     This thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I paused at Tori's bedside and wondered just what that meant. The behaviors of my kids this week alone made me feel like we were a family of failures, Tori had cut her hair in the middle of her head, Elijah got a black eye from surfing in the bathtub and my oldest decided to shave her eyebrows.  Other thoughts swirled with the many mistakes I had made in my lifetime, each adding up to another moment of what seemed like failure. Gently, God impressed on my heart that my mistakes were not failures, instead these mistakes were life lessons. Mistakes were not mistakes unless I didn't gain anything. At the same time, I realized that I needed to radically change my thoughts and view of parenting.
     Instead of seeing every act of disobedience as a failure on the path to a lifetime of mistakes (and perhaps jail time), I needed to open my eyes to the learning opportunities each moment of discipline had for my child. For the last eleven years I had been parenting out of fear, that if my children didn't get it right and kept repeating the same offenses, they were headed for failure. Instead, I need to parent out of opportunity, a chance to train them into making choices for themselves. As frustrating as some of these parenting moments are, I need to view each moment as a fresh moment in making good choices. 


  1. That's it Heather! Each of these times is a training opportunity for both child and parent. And..God gives us plenty of opportunities to practice! This parenting stuff is a process..where maintaining relationship in the midst of disobedience is sometimes challenged. A picture of what God does with us...Grace and Truth.. :)Love you!

  2. Lori
    Thanks for your comment. I honestly believe that parenting is a journey to knowing God's heart for each of us.


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