I'm tired and don't want to talk to anyone. Yet my daily routine of shuffling kids and women's ministry forces me to interact. So I smile and say, "I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"
The truth is, there are very few women, I'm willing to open myself up to, and so begins the manners of being polite and asking, "How are you?" As they tell me about their burdens, I struggle to be present and not check out and I find myself retreating to the inner depths of my soul, discovering that I am already over capacity.
My own cup is already full of burdens; stresses of finances, weary of my so-called 'God's Call to Write', concerned with what our future holds in this very town, worried about behaviors my son is presenting, and pushing myself to be ever present for my oldest child in her turbulent teens, combined with Aspergers; but I choose not to talk about it. Very few friends really want to listen and even then, their circumstances are weigh heavily on their minds. It's not that they aren't good listeners, it's because I know they don't have what I need. Weary laden, I drive home, already mentally checking out.
In the quiet of my home, I hear Him speak to me, those three same words, we use out of politeness; so I respond knowing that God isn’t overly burdened and weighed down.
“How are you?”
“I’m lonely, God.
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Mathew 28:20b (NIV).
“I’m weary, God.”
“Your soul will find rest in Me alone. I am your salvation. I am your Rock, your fortress, you will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2. (paraphrased, NIV).
As I pour out, He pours in. I realize that being quiet in His presence is almost a lost art that needs a revival. When we quiet ourselves before Him, He is able to completely fill us in exchange for what is weighing us down. He uses His presence, and His Word to breath life into us, and we need so very much more than we realize.
Being a mother and woman of God can sometimes weigh us down so deeply with concerns, crisis, worries, needs of our children, demands from others, and expectations of organizations. Without quieting ourselves before God, we become so full, and yet so very empty.
Our souls were created for the ebb and flow of pouring ourselves out before Him, as He pours life back into us. He touches our hearts, just enough for each day.
Just enough that we long to come back to Him for more.
Just enough to recreate a bond that can overcome any feeling, any burden.
Just enough to teach us the depth of friendship with Him.
Just enough to create a vibration in our spirits. We become filled with His truth and peace and we can begin the ripple affect of giving His friendship to others when we truly ask, “How are you?”