Sometimes I wonder if God forgot my personal force field when I accepted Him as my Savior. Maybe, it's defective and it needs to go in for a repair or two, or maybe I need to be issued a better instruction manual. You know the Scripture that talks about our personal force field right?
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.Ephesians 6:11-13.
The pressures of motherhood, personal issues that I can't seem to let go, and old wounds have been reopened. The problem is that I still believe life would be better, if not safer in the arms of Christ. Here is the reality check, God didn't promise a safe life filled with roses and problems nonexistent. He brought my reality check this morning when I happened to have read a devotional email for mommies:
Beloved, do not be surprised as the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12.
Instead, He reminded me to renew my mind daily by talking with Him. Not just going through the motions of reading my Bible and sending up a quick prayer; but to really sit down and tell Him what's on my heart. When we spend time with Him, it's like we buff our armor and ensuring it fits correctly.
Because we are going to have trials, via tantrum prone kids, venomous encounters with not so friendly people, financial strain; we can rest in knowing that He has provided what we need, when we need it. We can rest knowing that our force field will protect us through trials and will shape our spiritual life, tempering it, and strengthening our resolve.
Go on, talk to Him about your day, talk to Him about what is on your heart. This will give Him the opportunity to prepare you to walk through the next trial with Him Shielding what needs shielded and helping you battle what needed battled.
Have you heard the term, "Stinkin' thinkin'"? It makes me giggle along with my kids. It rhymes, it's catchy. It reminds me every time I hear it or think it, that I need to take my thoughts captive. Maybe you do too, which is why I wanted to share with you.
“…and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ…” 2 Corinthians 10:5
Your Thoughts Are Who You Are
Do you struggle to take control of your thoughts? I know I do. Very recently, after a misunderstanding, old wounds were reopened and all I could do was dwell on the injustice I felt. What I didn't realize was how it colored everything. Because my thoughts were dwelling on this incident, it painted how I thought of my kids, my work, and myself.
Maybe you struggle with envy, jealousy, rejection, worry, or fear. Or your thoughts are just plain unkind, crabby, unhelpful thoughts like:
"What is she doing on the worship team, have you seen the suggestive clothes she wears?"
"Why does she always seem to have the newest phone or shoes, new curtains, new house, and when I buy stuff, it doesn't look that good. My taste stinks."
"I can't believe they let that woman in here."
"He wants to go to school next year, but I'm worried that he won't be ready."
"I never seem to have it all together, why I can't I be better at this?"
"She is SO unkind, just plain mean to me. I'm so hurt that she said that to me. And my kids have been little monsters today, they are SO not listening to me. AND the house is a complete disaster, AND I didn't have time to clean it. AND that to-do list of repairs is still on the fridge. AND my husband is going to be getting home late again...AND"
Tell me what you thought of the last example? Have you ever noticed that if you're in a stinky mood, it permeates and spills over onto everything that is happening in your life? Did you ever stop to notice how hard it is not have stinky thoughts? They just keep rolling in like tidal waves in a storm. Things keep getting worse and worse with no end in sight.
Thankfully I have a few tips that I've picked up along the way that I can share with you that I've learned from friends and because I've encountered situations like the examples of above.
Febreeze that Stinkin' Thinkin'
I Need a Brainwash
Music affects our moods, it has the ability to lighten our moods and lower our blood pressure. I love listening to my favorite radio stations.
My Bridge Radio can be played on your computer or via radio. They now offer the lyrics to the songs they broadcast, which is awesome if you're a wordy chick like me.
The Lost Get Found: Britt Nicole (This is has been my ring tone for the three years.)
From The Inside Out: Seventh Day Slumber (I'm a groupie, so proud of these boys!)
Of course you can always use your IPod and create a playlist of songs that are uplifting and remind you of who really is in charge of your life and your mind.
Stick It
Of course, we can't listen to music all of the time, but you do carry a purse don't you? Get some note cards or sticky notes, write out specific verses that empower you, knowing God is in control.
Some of my favorite power Scriptures that I stand on are:
When I need peace:
...And the peace of God...will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you...“ John 14:27
When I need to know God is with me:
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…” Isaiah 43:1-3
“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 118:6
Find Scriptures that speak to your heart, stick them in your purse, on your mirror, in your car, on your treadmill.
Let Someone Read to You
If you're a busy mama which I imagine you are, there are other ways to stay in God's word and let His Words strengthen your heart and clear your mind of stinky thoughts. I just discovered YouVersion for editing purposes but found they have apps for your latest gadget. It's a great way to stay in God's word or you can listen to it at night as you're falling asleep.
Taking our thoughts captivated can be a tenaciousness process, unless we discipline ourselves to be grounded in God's Word. I've found over time, that my kids are better thinkers and actors when we are listening to worship music. I know your struggles are just as real as mine and it's hard to keep our thoughts pure, but with God all things are possible!
How many times have you been forcing to make something happen in your own strength? This past Sunday, as the Pastor touched on the Lord's Prayer. He described a story of a little boy who wanted to help his Daddy move a desk across the room. The father began pushing and the little boy braced his shoulder against the desk, and told his father, "Move Dad, you're in the way." Daddy of course chuckled and obliged his son's request.
The four year old little boy, pushed with all his might, but the desk would not move.
Have you been there? You're working on a project with God, you know He's got your back, but the timing is moving too slow. Maybe it's not moving in the direction you wanted. You've told God, "Move out of the way, buddy, I got it," only to realize that when God steps back and says, "Have it your way," you find that life isn't moving anywhere?
I've been there, in more ways that one. I was there for two years trying to get pregnant. I was there trying to make a career in management work. I was there when I was trying to avoid all charges of a felony offense. I was there when I was trying to make my marriage work.
In case you haven't noticed, I tend to be a stubborn learner, with an education through the school of hard knocks, I've learned that unless I'm walking side by side with God, life doesn't move. If I run ahead of God, I'm pushing that desk all by myself. It's not until we invite God into our lives, that His strength begins being poured into us, when we say, "God, Your will be done, not mine. Walk with me Lord through this journey, show me Your way, and help me. I surrender."
Yeah, I know what you're saying, "Surrender, that's a big word and huge effort." Surrendering doesn't mean we become powerless, it means we become filled with His power. It flows out of His spirit into ours, making the impossible happen.
Whatever 'desk' you happen to be moving, invite God into your struggle, ask Him for help. You'll be amazed how quickly He moves. It reminds me of one of my favorite scripture verses:
I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]. Philippians 4:13, Amplified Bible.
I don't know how I did it, but I managed to double book my kids to be in two different places at the same time! My husband loves to tell friends that if my head wasn't attached, I'd lose it too. So I've decided to take organization to a whole new level...eye level in my kitchen to be exact. I'm a fan of DIY projects and making my house a bit more homey and unique!
This is your first clue, CHALK BOARD PAINT!
And Here's your second clue!
In one weekend, I reorganized our family schedule. At a glance, I can look at my wall and know who needs to be where, what time, and if they need to bring anything. Secondly, my husband can now on the same page with me! Because I love the results of painting magnetic paint and chalkboard paint on my wall, I also painted my pantry door and have my menu on the top. The bottom I leave open for the kids to get creative when I'm busy in the kitchen. This is a simple, easy, affordable and fun DIY to get organized.
Here's my kitchen wall. I used a yard stick to pencil a rectangle on my wall. Following the instructions, I painted the Magnetic paint on first. It's not as thick as paint, so keep a rag handy for runs. After the magnetic paint dried, I added the Chalk Board paint. It needs three coats with at least two hours drying time in between.
My completed project. I have my schedule posted as Monday-Sunday and add appointments as needed.
Need some more creative images to help plan your DIY Schedule? Take a look at the photos I pulled from Google for Chalkboard and Magnetic Paint!
So How Do You Do It?
Look for a large area on your wall, living room, kitchen, office room.
Use a yard stick and lightly pencil in the area you want to paint.
After you've figured out the size of the area you want to use, clean the wall to be painted.
Begin with the magnetic paint and follow the instructions on the back.
Once the three different coats have completely dried, begin adding the chalk board paint.
This too will need three different coats with at least two hours of dry time in between applications.
Once the last coat of chalkboard paint has dried, the area needs to 'cure' for three days, per instructions of the paint.
When the paint has cured, rub a thick coat of chalk all over the board and then wipe it down.
Now you're ready to add your schedule, to-do list, and even your menu!
Ready For a Chalkboard but Not On Your Walls? Watch the news feed for Nebraska TV (Video)
On NTV, I brought in an example of what you can do with a large piece of ply board.
Find the size that you want, paint it according to the above instructions and then you will have a picture frame schedule that can be moved anywhere in the house!
"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." Matthew 18:19-20 MSG.
"Chris, we really need to pray."
"Right now? Its almost midnight. What do you want
to pray about?"
I rolled turned towards him while rolling my eyes, "The kids and
for us."
Silence and then an exasperated sigh, "FINE,"
he said before he started praying. (Note: My husband would be happier to pray
first thing in the morning or right before bed, instead of feeling me toss and
turn until I ask him in the middle of the night).
I’ve heard it said
over the course of my short Christian life, 'A couple that prays together,
stays together.' Kind of like the best friends in the "Cletus, Take The Reel" parody by Tim Hawkins...Don't know what I'm talking about, watch the video below. HILARIOUS!
But praying is so hard especially as a couple. It is one
thing to share your thoughts and feelings, but it is a whole new ball game to
open up in prayer. Praying is just as intimate as anything else in the bedroom,
it lays bare our souls and reveals our vulnerabilities. But when I do pray with
my husband it creates a stronger bond between us. It invites God into our lives
and into our marriage, uniting us on the spiritual front.
Do you pray with
your husband, do you ask him to pray for you before you start your day? For me,
it's still a new practice, sometimes I feel embarrassed going to my husband
and saying, "I'm feeling a little crabby this morning and I have so much
to get done. Can you pray that I'm not short tempered with the kids?" It's
easy to think, "If I could just control myself and have a better mind set, then
I can handle the day just fine." But when I bring my shortcomings to my husband,
who then takes it before God; it humbles me and invites both my husband and God into
my day. On the days when I do take my requests to my husband, it creates peace out of the chaos. The day is still filled with frustrations, but then I'm reminded that God is with me and
He is paving the way to do what He intended that day. It connects me to my husband who thinks about me through out the day and is more tender when he gets home. It also reminds me
of what I model in front of my children. Elijah is the first to point out that
I have a crabby attitude, "Mom you didn't pray this morning with Daddy did
you? Maybe we should pray for you on the way to school."
I hate it when my children point out my mistakes and
flaws, but then it blesses me to know they understand the power of prayer. They
have no problem telling God when they are angry, what they want and what they
worry about. As adults, we lose that childlike faith and forget that God isn't
some imaginary thing in the sky that we send our thoughts up to. He is real,
lives within our spirits and wants to be able to work through our plans,
weaknesses, and dreams. How can He strengthen our marriage and faith if we
don't first go to Him? Prayer and marriage go hand in hand and I'm thankful my
kids are seeing it through my fumbles and shortcomings.
Do you pray with your man? If not, what holds you
back? The power of praying with your husband breaks through our shortcomings
and limitations. It strengthens ours bond and creates intimacy that stands through
trials. I encourage you to start out small and go to your husband.
So allow me to really transparent, but before I go ANY further, I'd like to say to my parents and in-laws..."DON'T READ ANY FURTHER, trust me!"
I feel like this at least twice a week!
Moms these days are so frazzled and worn out, by the time their dear hubby's come home and hint about heating up the bedroom, the she merely rolls her eyes and directs him to his man cave. Yet, some of us are longing for that passion and romance. With that said, I've gotten quite a few emails about how Chris and I seem to have it all together. We still act like honeymooners even though we have kids.
This is what real romance is, a commitment to love one another in the midst of toys, stretchmarks, and kids.
In today's world, our minds ingrained with what we think is romance. What is portrayed on TV, movies, sitcoms and romance novels has NOTHING to do with real romance. That's right mama's. Throw the ideas of your husband looking like Fabio and riding off into the sunset with you carried in his thick brawny arms. It doesn't happen even in the lives of couples who don't have children. In this stage of life, a.k.a. mothering, our worlds revolve our children but we are longing for the romance. So here's a few tips from a mother of three (high strung, high energy, hot tempered kids) and how I keep the romance alive on my marriage.
Turn That Crock Pot On--Early
My husband and I attended a marriage conference several years ago and I loved how women were described as crock pots. Try not to be insulted but it's the truth. Men are like bottle rockets and can go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds for a steamy night in the bedroom. Women on the other hand are like crock pots, it takes hours for us to simmer up to a romantic night in the bedroom. Crock pots have all the ingredients inside, a dash of this, a bit of spice from that. All we do is put the lid on, crank the on bottom and we know by the end of the day, we have a wonderful meal in store. Marriage and sex is pretty much the same. As we simmer, we think of how wonderful our mate is.
Being a crock pot means your husband needs to start early in the morning or even the night before turning you on to the idea of bedroom bliss. This is something you can do for yourself too. If you know that tonight is going to be the night, think of all the romantic things your husband has done over the years, text him and tell him you cant wait to see him that night.
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E
That's right girls, we have to talk about it. Some of us don't have the drive, desire or willingness to turn from Mother Teresa to Hot Mama in the bedroom and that's okay. TALK to your husband about it. You may be drained from rearing your little ones all day. But it shouldn't stop you from being with your husband.
Talk to him about what makes your heart flutter and remind him to act on it. When I was visiting my friend Angela, her husband had left her post-it notes for her to find and read. My husband sends me text messages that reminding me of how much he loves me. Maybe, you like holding hands, having him make supper, bring flowers. What ever it is, tell your husband! For women, its the little things that get us simmering and in the mood.
Sex isn't just an act, it's a relationship and one that our husbands need. I've known some women who had absolutely no desire for intimacy, so much so, they've given their husbands excuses like: 'sex isn't allowed during pregnancy, It's too close for that time of the month, I've got a headache and cramps.'
Listen up ladies, men need it! They need that physical intimacy with us, it's their connection to knowing that you accept them and you love them. When we give them our time and attention, they in turn feel confident in their relationship with us.
Picture of proof to remind myself that date night will come around again.
Honey Mooning at Home
Many of us are living on one income. That means every penny counts, but doesn't have to stop date night. We use several options and try to get alone every week, that's right, every week. Here's my list:
Make Mac N Cheese for your little ones and put them to bed early.
Create a meal for the two of you, complete with candle light.
Ask your in-laws to watch your kids and go back home for date night.
Log on to Ruby Tuesday's for their Buy One Get One Free meal deals.
Child Swap with another couple. You watch their kids one night and then they watch yours.
Once a month, my husband cooks an amazing gourmet dinner, puts the kids to bed early, draws me a bath and creates an romantic oasis in our bedroom (sounds exotic, he makes sure its clean and free of kid debris, and puts a scarf over the lamp to create softer lighting).
He gets annoyed that I have to document every date night with a picture. Can you tell? :-)
Your Mind Counts
As women, we have a million things running through our minds at once. "Is the laundry dried, I need to run to target before my coupon expires, Elijah's room is a mess, I have to get three chapters edited, plan for a MOPS event, and prep for parent teacher conferences this week."
So when my husband gives me the look, I want to be prepared. Daily and especially on date night, I pray. I ask God to give me the desire to want to be with my husband, especially when my mind is full of to-do's and mommy matters. I'd much rather want to be with my husband than have the mind set, "Get in and get out already!" that so many women do.
Tell me, how do you keep the marriage bed hot? I'd love to hear your thoughts and even more questions of how to get creative, especially when you have kids!
So I've been on this "Mom" Journey for the last 12 and a half years (give or take a few days). I pride myself on being a good mother. I stay home, I work on my projects when the kids are sleeping, and try to provide healthy meals disguised as yummy fun foods. This doesn't include tackling Mount Everest everyday in the laundry room, the bills I pay, or the yucky chores reserved for me. But lately I don't feel like I'm being a good mom. A few months ago, God shook me awake by pointing out a few flaws. One flaw in particular is a glaring blind spot about commanding my kids to obey, just because I'm mom.
Do As I Say.
When you were little, do you remember those words coming out of your mama's mouth. Tell me, did you obey because you wanted to or because you were in fear of your life? I mostly listened to my mama because I knew she could snuff me out in an instant. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I actually liked my mom. I don't want to raise my kids that way. I don't want to strong arm them into doing what I've asked.
In a past post about Shaping the Heart, my daughter's antics revealed that my purpose is to shape her heart, not her actions. If I don't begin shaping my children's hearts, then what is going to stop them from making monumentally poor choices in their teen and early adult years. And believe me, I know about poor choices and having no respect for authority. Yikes!
While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Play.
Seriously, I had this dream about my children being mice and me being a cat recently...very strange. I dreamed that the mice obeyed every command and observed all the rules; until the cat (me) left the house. When the cat left, the mice broke every rule possible. After all, there wasn't anyone there to stop them from misbehaving and why would they want to obey a tyrant anyway?
Hmm, and then I wonder why I have issues with authority, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree... Because my children are growing up, I'm looking towards their futures and I'm worried that I am not preparing them to make good choices or have integrity and resolve to be a godly person. Instead, I'm afraid that all I've taught them to do up to this stage in life is obeying to keep mama happy. Seriously, how is that going to work out for them when they're eighteen or twenty-four?
Love Them On Purpose.
So while on my mommy journey, I've hit a wall and have been asking for guidance to raise kids that not only obey but they do it because they want to. And even if they don't want to, they choose to because I've asked them.
Loving Your Kids On Purposeby Danny Silk has completely pulled the rug out from under me. Its a fresh look at parenting through God's eyes. Here on earth, we don't have a dictator telling us what we can and can't do every hour of the day; nor has anyone spanked my rear, or yelled at me, or counted to three because I wasn't listening.
It has opened my eyes to giving my kids more freedom in their choices, to build a heart to heart connection and tools to guide the everyday parenting challenges.
For the last three weeks, mothering has been FUN, yes I said it, FUN, as in a day at the park and it includes the tantrums and melt downs. In these moments, I always felt like I needed to rescue the kids from the situation or feeling like I needed to strong arm my kid into obeying.
Case in point, the other night my son would not go to bed. Instead of threatening to close his door, take his toys or using encouraging good behaviors to earn Wii time the next morning, we gave threw him for a loop.
"You're not tired?"
"No!"
"Hmmm what are you going to do about it?"
"Stay up."
"Okay but since you aren't tired, you can either empty the dishwasher or mops the floors. When you're tired you can go to bed," we (my husband and I) replied as we turned out the lights in the rest of the house, led him to the kitchen and opened the dishwasher for him. Elijah stood there shocked, he was excited he didn't have to be in bed, but wasn't exactly thrilled with the choices. We went to our room and closed the door, anxiously listening for sounds to dishes clanking. We waited ten minutes before checking on the kiddo. The dishwasher was closed and the lights were off. Elijah was in his bed, quiet as a mouse and we haven't had a bed time issue since.
There is a time and place for setting firm limits and asking them to obey when needed, in the meantime, my new journey is about presenting choices, giving options, putting the burden of a mistake back into their laps as a life lesson, and empowering them to make good choices. I'm excited to be a parent, to shape their hearts for the future instead of shaping their behavior for the moment.
Does this timeout look like we are accomplishing the goal of thinking about what they did?
Nope, didn't think so, but I thought I would ask.
So now that I've gone on and on about my new mommy tools, what are tools you use to encourage good choices and good behaviors from your kids? What is the most frustrating aspect of parenting your wee ones? Leave a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it!
These are a few of my friends who have encouraged me to pursue my passion. And we are the founders of our new website Her View From Home, set to launch in April. I hope to see you there!
What is your passion? No, I don't just mean your children, your soap box, or your view on faith. Before we had kids, we had all these talents, skills, and abilities. For some of us, we've boxed em up and are sitting on a shelf collecting dust. Still others think that when the kids are grown, they will have the time to pursue their passions. But here's the question, are you satisfied? Or bigger question still, "Is God satisfied with you shelving your passion?"
Motherhood Isn't All Of Me.
Don't get me wrong, motherhood is awesome. We have their lives in our hands, day in and day out for the next eighteen years. And the early years are spent trying to find a new routine and surviving sleepless nights. For me, I had this ache to write, I didn't understand it, nor was I really focusing on it. Yet, it was there in the back of my mind gnawing at me. Before I became a mother, I was a child that dreamed of being a lawyer, counselor or professor. Yet, I had this natural ability to write (writing, spell check and grammar or three different things peeps!), I had a voice and people loved listening to it through the pages of my essays, posts, etc.
It wasn't until I heard God's voice very clearly one afternoon while wading through diapers and bottles, He was telling me to write. I'm so thankful I listened. Our passions and our talents spur us on, knowing we are part of a bigger picture. It reminds us that we have a purpose for our lives that no one else can fill. Only we can do it with the combination of gifts, passions, and abilities in a way that no one else can.
It brings great satisfaction to peck the keyboard to encourage others while my little ones are sleeping. Now days, I have more free time and I've found that if I get to spend time on my passions, I'm actually a better mom. I am fulfilled and praising God!
What Is Your Passion?
So here's the question again, what do you want to be when you grow up? What is your passion? Are you willing to pursue it and craft it in these early childhood years?
Steps to Pursue Your Passion.
1. Ask God to show you what you were created for.
2. Take smalls steps with it while your kids are little, for example take a class, purchase books about it.
3. Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you to the best of your abilities.
4. Don't give it up. There will come a moment when it's time for you to try it.
5. Jeremiah 29:11 states:For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~ The key is asking God what He created you for!
For the last few years, I've spent my time encouraging moms, using my voice, and perfecting my writing skills while enjoying motherhood moments of watching my babies turn into big kids. God is now using this new stage in life to publish my first book and launch a new mid-west blog for women. If God can challenge me, steady my hands as I write, and encourage me, He will do the same for you. Go ahead, be brave and ask Him!~
Another crazy afternoon, a day in the life of me. Except this time, we had just picked up my oldest from school and she is still struggling to keep herself together. I juggle her assignments, Elijah's off the wall energy and Tori's victorious antics. We settle in for the evening, supper, showers, stories, and bedtime. After I get the little ones to bed, I hustle Chy into the shower.
She takes longer than usual, forty five minutes later, she is out, dripping wet and her eyes hold a brokenness in them. She asks me quietly if I would straighten her mound of golden brown hair. "Sure," I say as I begin the tedious process of de-tangling and blow-drying her Shirley Temple curls. She's looking at herself in the mirror but something is different, I don't like the way she is looking at herself. She doesn't say it, so I say it for her,
"You don't think you're good enough, do you?" Her big brown eyes begin to mist, the pressure of being in sixth grade and trying to compute the world the way everyone else does, is just too much. For those of you who have been following this blog, you know that Cheyenne has struggled in school since the beginning.
In first grade, she floundered because she couldn't see the words like everyone else. She had to learn a completely new way to read by memorizing the look of a word.
In second grade, we found out, she was nearly blind on one eye. It required sporting an eye patch all day, everyday. In third, she was the little girl that the girls left out in their games, making themselves superior in her eyes. In fourth, we realized she couldn't focus and required different learning strategies with the diagnosis of Inattentive A.D.D. and recently the missing piece of the puzzle of Cheyenne was Aspergers.
Middle school holds all new challenges which Cheyenne has to fight through to make sense of the world. She wants to fit in, to look like everyone else, to be able to laugh at jokes, and be silly like the rest of her peers. But Cheyenne doesn't get jokes, she has curly hair, glasses, and is taller than her teacher. In sixth grade, she is realizing her world is not like everyone else's, she has to fight the way her mind interprets all of its sensory mis-communications (Imagine trying to have a conversation while standing in the middle of a casino with every machine hitting jackpot at once and confetti blowing everywhere). Everything from smells wafting in the air, to the the way her clothing feels on her body, she has to learn to tune out in order to process what is happening within the bounds of the socialization happening around her.
As I straighten her hair, I begin to tell her how perfect she is. "God created you for something special, I don't know what it is yet, Chy, but you have gifts, abilities, and talent for the purpose God planned for you. Everything from your hair, to your heart has been made absolutely perfect. You're stunning, you're powerful because you're a child of God." As we stand there in the silence, the song Mean by Taylor Swift plays over the radio and we get silly. Grabbing our hairbrushes, singing along together, "You, with your words like knives, swords and weapons that you use against me. You--You've knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing..." As we dance around our bathroom, somewhere in the middle of it, I get what she's going through, someday and soon I hope, she will be strengthened enough in who she is and not what everyone makes her out to be.
After hugging her skinny, five foot seven inch frame, I send her off to bed, feeling like I have no clue what I'm doing in this stage of motherhood but being real with her has somehow helped.
How do I encourage her when I don't understand how she sees her world? How can I cheer her on if she cannot believe in herself? All I can do is love her the best I can and continue praying that God reveals to Cheyenne the beauty and a strength that she holds all on her own.
These last few days have had me deep in the trenches of
mothering. My youngest came down with the stomach bug, which meant, schedules,
outings, dates, and carpooling were thrown out the window. While I was wading
in puke and “Mommy I don’t feel good,” cries; I actually welcomed it. Recently my plate has
been more than full of my goals, projects, lists, editing manuscripts, and
prepping a new website. Added to this was the pressure to ensure I was on top
of my responsibilities for our local MOPS group, and my new position has
Community Coach for MOPS International. Let’s not forget the extra concern for
my oldest and her school work while I was balancing appointments for an
evaluation for my son. My plate wasn’t just full, it looked like a small
version of Mount Everest.
Gone were the list of to-dos, and
in came a chance to be at rest with my daughter. As I cleaned the bedding and monitored
her spew progress, it also gave me a chance to be intentional about loving her and reminded me of why I became a mommy in the first place. How is it that
we have a deep desire to become a mom and once the chance presents itself,
we get sidetracked with our other passions and goals? Motherhood isn’t just
about giving birth and keeping our little ones entertained, it’s about making
them smile while we watch Diego for the hundredth time, playing war zone with my
son’s action figures, and watching my oldest create her pastel masterpieces.
Watching
our children grow up can be lost in the throngs of our careers, passions, and
dreams. But in the end, I don’t want to be remembered by my kids as always
being on the phone or sitting behind my computer screen; I want to be
remembered for the forts I helped build, taking them to the Children’s Museum,
baking cookies with them and giving them my full attention when they needed me.
So when Tori became ill, it was a chance to regain the ground I lost to focus on her. I turned off my computer and phone,
tucked my to-do list away and focused on being fully present with my sick babe.
We spent these last three days, watching movies in my bed, playing house with
her Toy Story Squinkies, and making snakes with her play dough.
Are you
intentional about spending time with your kids? Do you welcome interruptions
like sick days or do you find yourself saying, “Just a minute, let Mommy get
this done!” I invite you to free fall back into the joy of mothering. Your
to-do list can wait while you bake cookies or build a fort, and watch Diego
again for the millionth time!
You know what I’m talking about, your sweatpants agree with
me, diet time! Swim suit season is only six months away, so we have plenty of
time to start this New Year’s resolutions. Instead of dieting, let’s look at
some ways that we can start shedding the pounds by making life style changes,
starting with what we feed our kids.
If you’re
anything like me, your kids drive your bonkers most days and you eat snacks
that aren’t the healthiest, and let’s not mention portion control. Most days I’m
grazing off their plates or eating right out of the snack boxes. My kids are
picking up on these habits too, not such a good thing, if we all want to eat
healthier. So here are a few ideas!
Independent
Grazers
My Tupperware bowl, you can add raisins, pretzels, whole
wheat crackers, oreos, etc in snack bags too!
Kids between the ages of 2 and 101 like to
have control. They begin developing a sense of independence the moment they
take their first breathe; at around two they really like to tell us, they can
do things themselves, so why not let them develop a keen edge on portion
control? My kids are grazers and very independent. So each time I go to the
grocery store, I purchase a variety of healthy snacks and some not so healthy
snacks. When I get home, I put the serving into snack bags and throw it all
into the bowl. It sits in the bottom of my pantry where they can grab a snack
when they want.
This also goes the same for my refrigerator. I have
apples, cuties, whole and some in baggies with a little bit of lemon juice,
sitting in my crisper drawer.
This idea is great to not only help give them
independence, teach proper portions, but it’s great when you’re in the run to
the next dance recital or park. Just grab a few bags and go!
Lunch Time
Lunch time
is another area where we tend to get stuck in a rut, either we think our kids won’t
eat it, or we are tired of the choices we have. So make the choices you have
fun and visit one of my favorite sites that my friend Stacy directed me to, www.superhealthykids.com. Here is what I do for lunch because my kids
like it simple.
Elijah’s green tray with snowman
turkey, star whole wheat bread and string cheese.
Fun lunch with snowman and start cookie cutters, the kids can help create the shapes.
Okay I had to add the pink tray picture, per Tori's request, She didn't think it was fair to upload just her brother's!
RECAP
1. Purchase snacks and snack baggies.
2. Read the labels of your snacks and scoop the measured portion into baggies.
3. For fresh fruit, make a few bags ahead of time, wash and slice, add a squeeze of lemon juice.
4. Designate an area in your pantry for your kids and a drawer in your fridge.
5. Less whining and hearing "I'm hungry" from your child, and they are learning the proper portions!
Okay, so I've REALLY missed my blog, and these last two weeks have been more than just eventful! So grab your coffee and scroll on down, I'll show you what you've missed!
My brother, Doyle and I, with my potato gun.
Yes, that tube you see in the picture isn't just PVC pipe, it's a potato gun! You can take the girl out of the country...and that's about it. My brother came up from Wyoming as a surprise visit. We spent Christmas afternoon out on the Platte River, shooting potatoes, rocks, arrows, and anything else that could be stuffed to fit into his tube. It was a real blast--no pun intended!
Two of my three brother's stuffing the potato gun.
If you look closely at the picture, you see a can of hair spray, this helps ignite the gun! Does anyone want to guess how this turns out?
Me, I just finished shooting my daughter's new bow--with no makeup, I'm a bit vain!
Cheyenne, getting ready to release her arrow.
When I wasn't out blowing things up with my brothers, we took some time off to target practice with our daughter. She got a new bow for Christmas, so far we have four of the twenty arrows left...We both need a little practice, well...maybe I do. However, I must say I worry about Cheyenne's future husband, she has my temper and a VERY. GOOD. AIM!
My brother Dave.
When we thought all was quiet, the boys came over and had a shoot out in my home. Four toy guns and four rowdy boys....Needless to say, the evening wasn't quite peaceful to enjoy my new Nook I got for Christmas!
Okay, okay, enough of the pictures and family stuff. I've got some REALLY exciting news. Saved by Love is now being posted atFaithVillage. Stop by to read the latest in the realms of faith mixed with motherhood. Leave a comment and let them know you want me to come back!
Next on the exciting list is that I am the new columnist for Eternal Encouragement Magazine online! What am I writing about, encouragement for moms! I can't wait for you to see my first article! It's a goody, my next one is about transformers, instructions, and motherhood--you get the point!
More blessings to be sure, I have been asked to be a guest on Good Morning Nebraska, with Marylyn Barnett, I'll be on the show bright and early to give you some great tips on snacks and lunch ideas for your kids. You don't want to miss this one. January 10!!!!
And at last, some really big news, in March, I will be launching Her View From Home with some friends of mine. Her View From Home is a Mid-West Blog created by women to encourage, inspire and connect. We will have forums for towns to post events, daily deals, date night ideas, recipes, tips for home & garden; plus articles about faith, parenting, family and more. I can't wait for it to launch and hope you'll stop by! You can visit us on Facebook at our fan page and stay up to date until we officially launch, Her View from Home.
Hurry up March, in the meantime, I can't wait to connect with you and share what God has been laying on my heart to encourage you!
