Exciting News and Happenings!

Okay, so I've REALLY missed my blog, and these last two weeks have been more than just eventful! So grab your coffee and scroll on down, I'll show you what you've missed!

My brother, Doyle and I, with my potato gun.

Yes, that tube you see in the picture isn't just PVC pipe, it's a potato gun! You can take the girl out of the country...and that's about it. My brother came up from Wyoming as a surprise visit. We spent Christmas afternoon out on the Platte River, shooting potatoes, rocks, arrows, and anything else that could be stuffed to fit into his tube. It was a real blast--no pun intended!

Two of my three brother's stuffing the potato gun.

If you look closely at the picture, you see a can of hair spray, this helps ignite the gun! Does anyone want to guess how this turns out? 

Me, I just finished shooting my daughter's new bow--with no makeup, I'm a bit vain!

Cheyenne, getting ready to release her arrow. 

When I wasn't out blowing things up with my brothers, we took some time off to target practice with our daughter. She got a new bow for Christmas, so far we have four of the twenty arrows left...We both need a little practice, well...maybe I do. However, I must say I worry about Cheyenne's future husband, she has my temper and a VERY. GOOD. AIM!

My brother Dave.

When we thought all was quiet, the boys came over and had a shoot out in my home. Four toy guns and four rowdy boys....Needless to say, the evening wasn't quite peaceful to enjoy my new Nook I got for Christmas!

Okay, okay, enough of the pictures and family stuff. I've got some REALLY exciting news. Saved by Love is now being posted at FaithVillage. Stop by to read the latest in the realms of faith mixed with motherhood. Leave a comment and let them know you want me to come back!

Next on the exciting list is that I am the new columnist for Eternal Encouragement Magazine online! What am I writing about, encouragement for moms! I can't wait for you to see my first article! It's a goody, my next one is about transformers, instructions, and motherhood--you get the point!

More blessings to be sure, I have been asked to be a guest on Good Morning Nebraska, with Marylyn Barnett, I'll be on the show bright and early to give you  some great tips on snacks and lunch ideas for your kids. You don't want to miss this one. January 10!!!!

And at last, some really big news, in March, I will be launching Her View From Home with some friends of mine.  Her View From Home is a Mid-West Blog created by women to encourage, inspire and connect. We will have forums for towns to post events, daily deals, date night ideas, recipes, tips for home & garden; plus articles about faith, parenting, family and more. I can't wait for it to launch and hope you'll stop by! You can visit us on Facebook at our fan page and stay up to date until we officially launch, Her View from Home.

Hurry up March, in the meantime, I can't wait to connect with you and share what God has been laying on my heart to encourage you!

Our new logo! We can't wait to launch the site!

How Are You, Really?

 

     I'm tired and don't want to talk to anyone. Yet my daily routine of shuffling kids and women's ministry forces me to interact. So I smile and say, "I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" 

      The truth is, there are very few women, I'm willing to open myself up to, and so begins the manners of being polite and asking, "How are you?" As they tell me about their burdens, I struggle to be present and not check out and I find myself retreating to the inner depths of my soul, discovering that I am already over capacity. 

     My own cup is already full of burdens; stresses of finances, weary of my so-called 'God's Call to Write', concerned with what our future holds in this very town, worried about behaviors my son is presenting, and pushing myself to be ever present for my oldest child in her turbulent teens, combined with Aspergers; but I choose not to talk about it. Very few friends really want to listen and even then, their circumstances are weigh heavily on their minds. It's not that they aren't good listeners, it's because I know they don't have what I need. Weary laden, I drive home, already mentally checking out. 

      In the quiet of my home, I hear Him speak to me, those three same words, we use out of politeness; so I respond knowing that God isn’t overly burdened and weighed down.

           “How are you?”

          “I’m lonely, God.

          “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Mathew 28:20b (NIV).

          “I’m weary, God.”

          “Your soul will find rest in Me alone. I am your salvation. I am your Rock, your fortress, you will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2. (paraphrased, NIV).

          As I pour out, He pours in. I realize that being quiet in His presence is almost a lost art that needs a revival. When we quiet ourselves before Him, He is able to completely fill us in exchange for what is weighing us down. He uses His presence, and His Word to breath life into us, and we need so very much more than we realize.

      Being a mother and woman of God can sometimes weigh us down so deeply with concerns, crisis, worries, needs of our children, demands from others, and expectations of organizations. Without quieting ourselves before God, we become so full, and yet so very empty.

       Our souls were created for the ebb and flow of pouring ourselves out before Him, as He pours life back into us. He touches our hearts, just enough for each day.

          Just enough that we long to come back to Him for more.

          Just enough to recreate a bond that can overcome any feeling, any burden.

          Just enough to teach us the depth of friendship with Him.

          Just enough to create a vibration in our spirits. We become filled with His truth and peace and we can begin the ripple affect of giving His friendship to others when we truly ask, “How are you?”

When God Shows Up

     Life in the motherhood is full of twist and turns. Some can send us on a tailspin to the bottom, knocking the very breath out of us. We try to wipe the dust off our rears while wondering where God was when it happened. Sound familiar yet?

     Where is He, how does He show up in our lives? It's not a burning bush or doves descending from heaven. Usually He shows up with a strong presence of comfort and strength, He reveals His thoughts to us in Scripture, and the best form of His presence is through friendships.
   These past few weeks have taught me that He is ever present and uses friends to bring encouragement, love, peace, comfort, and help in times of need. Instead of shutting people out, open your heart because they may be God's messenger to bring His presence to you today. John 15:12-15 reminds us that we are to band together and love one another as Christ loved us. Let that resonate in your heart today and reach out to a friend!
     “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

A Mama's Guide to Surviving Modern Day Babylon

     Be skinny, look sensuous at all times, youth is the craze. Rush out and buy the latest products for youthful skin. Packing on the pounds? Take some diet pills. In order to gain power and respect, you need to have a P.H.D., get one in months online. Your child is disabled, abort it.
     These are the messages we are constantly bombarded with as women. In less than twenty four hours, we will have been assaulted with thousands of messages like these. What's even more alarming is that women of God have fallen prey to it, and they are taking their children down with them. How do we stand firm and battle these assaults for our minds? The answer may surprise you; because the enemy isn't the brightest crayon in the box, he is using the same tactics that Daniel of the Bible fought in the days of old. Daniel was exiled from His city, forced to serve the Kings and saw what the very best of life that Babylon offered. He didn't fall prey to the lifestyle or the theme of "I am me and there is no one besides me," motto of Babylon. Instead, Daniel kept his faith firm and watched God's sovereignty work through the decades.
    As mothers, we are raising the next generation and we are fighting the very core message that has been assaulting us since we breathed our first breathe. It's time for us to take a stand and decide what we will believe and pass it on to our kids. As a woman and mother, what assaults you the most? Is it beauty? Youthfulness? Knowledge? Leave your comments please!

MOPS, Calling All Mama's

     

I can still remember my neighbor Pauline's words clearly. She sent me an email encouraging me to rest, and enjoy this season of being a stay at home mother. I however was restless and nearly batty. I felt being a stay at home mom was not a worthy or noble cause... and was rearranging my furniture on a daily basis. 
     I wanted to be doing more. I wanted to impact other women, to be a part of something greater than the Riggleman Clan. As the days turned into weeks, I settled in and embraced the call of mothering and ministering to my family; and yet, in the quiet moments, I heard His ever small voice whispering He has given me much with my babes. He called me to embrace His plans and let go of mine.
    That was nearly five years ago. Over these precious and short years, I've watched my babies grow from infants to wild preschoolers. I've watched my oldest grow from adolescence to the tween years. And the greatest moments captured was watching my selfishness, immaturity, and little faith give way to God molding me into the woman He called me to be. While I know that I am not done growing up, I do know that this season of "being still" has ended, and another season has begun. 
    For the next few short years, I've been given the honor and opportunity to lead mother's towards the love and passion of Jesus. Being at home, He has taught me the awesome responsibility creating a home, to parent little ones, and how mothering does impact His Kingdom. This new season of ministry with Kearney MOPS is the opportunity of a lifetime. I get to be His vessel, to encourage and equip the hearts of women for His love and their children. 
    While it may shock many of you out there, I am not the same person I used to be. God has refined me in the years of being at home, and ignited my heart to share how much He loves each little mama. In a way that's what MOPS is about. It takes moms like me who are unsure of ourselves, maybe even insecure, as we bumble through the waters of parenting without a clue. 
     MOPS becomes a lifeline, giving us the tools to parent with confidence. It becomes a place where encouragement is given, and Christ-centered friendships are made. MOPS brought this insecure, unsure, unrefined, and temperamental woman into the depths of His love. In the process, He molded my mothering heart and shaped it with confidence (yes, my kids are still strong willed and wild, but I know I am parenting them as He intended). 
     I'm looking forward to this next season, not only with my family, but walking in the shoes of leading other women to keep their eyes on Jesus. 

Take Those "Be Beautiful, Skinny, Young Ad's and Shove it!

  

    "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"...was the repeating thought as I continued to push through the burn in my muscles. Running on the treadmill is my least favorite thing some mornings. I'd rather be automatically skinny with a perfect body. As far as I know, unless I have access to a personal trainer, get lipo suction monthly, and work out 6 hours a day, I won't look like a celebrity...As a woman living in America, youth and beauty is shoved down my throat on a minute by minute basis. If it's not some commercial on T.V. or ad on the radio, then it's competing with other women, or the front covers of magazines. No matter what, being voluptuous, thin, and desirable is the message I heard loud and clear. 
    I've decided I really don't give a flying leap to what society tells me to be these days. I'm sick of the skinny and 'be youthful' messages. I'm currently boycotting the youthful appearance crud (mainly because I'll be 30 this year and it's time to stop caring about it so much) I want to exercise for me, I want to feel good about myself. I want to maintain this body so I can keep up with my kids, in short, I want to be healthy (and fit back into all my jeans, somehow my metabolism has taken a vacation, PERMANENTLY). 
    Besides the fact I can't afford to buy an entire new wardrobe, exercising is another way of demonstrating discipline and self esteem to my daughters. It's a chance to teach defiance to what society is telling us as females. Growing up female is hard enough with all the message we hear, the least I can do is teach them to love themselves and embrace how God created them. 
    So what about you, are sick of the youthful, be a size 0 messages we hear? Are you insecure about your size? How are you demonstrating health for your daughters? Love to hear from you.

It's In The Air

     Can you smell that? Writing is in the air, and yes it does have a scent. It's the smell of fresh tablets, sharpened pencils, combined with the great outdoors in Estes Park, Colorado. I'm relishing the idea of filling up my tablet of notes.
   It's taken nearly a day to get my mind of my kids and the fact they could be taken Grandma and Grandpa for the ride of their lives. Decompressing after watching three wild kiddos takes time for this high strung mama. In the meantime, I get to embrace my love of writing and enjoy it in the majestic beauty of mountain country. 
    Tonight as I sit in front of my computer, my senses are heightened. Moose are trotting down the sidewalks as a fresh blanket of snow settles on the ground. My yearning to write His answer for mama's is renewed as I look forward to what tomorrow brings.

God's Way Or My Way

What dreams have do you have in your heart? Have you been chasing after them and wondering where God is in the big picture? I've been asking the same questions myself lately over a dream that I've had. This month was supposed to be the month for it to happen. So when the answer to my heart's desire was "No," I had to question the answer, and then question God. When God doesn't answer your prayers, it's because He has something else in mind for you. Stop for a moment and look around you. Ask what is He doing in your life, then ask Him to be a part of it. The gifts He's given you and the talents He's created in you are for His purpose and plans. Through His ways, He will full-fill your desires and dreams. It takes faith, obedience, acceptance, and asking to be a part of His plans. 

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.

'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9.

God is Moving.

Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:10

    How have you tested God? Have you laid your hurts, worries, joys, and dreams in His hands? I Have. These last few weeks I have felt Him nudging me to lay my dreams of writing, speaking to women, teens, and of course my finances on His alter. The return has been indescribable, the joy my heart feels has spilled over into aspect of my life. I wake up and my heart is singing to Him. Relationships that were damaged have been restored. Feeling at home in my home church has taken on a new meaning. My dreams of being an author are unfolding as I type. Ministering to women is budding day by day. And finally God has more than abundantly blessed our finances in terms of being able to afford a newer vehicle. We still don't make much but all our needs are being cared for in ways I had always hoped. These are just a few things I wanted to share and when I'm able to process it more fully, I will share in detail. 

    If you're worried about where money for a bill is going to come from, lay it before God. If you are worried about your teen and life altering mistakes or decisions they've made, lay it in front of Him. If you have a dream that's bubbling up from the bottom of your heart, give it to Him. Stay faithful, be patient, praise Him, and wait! Give it over to Him, allow His faithfulness, His love, and His power give your dreams and needs soil to take root. Your trust will water the soil, and His power will cause it to bloom. 

Heart of the Home Challenge, Week 8

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.




      This is one of the first scripture verses that resonated in my heart when I first decided to follow God. Nothing in my life at the time made sense. NOTHING. Everything was falling apart. I had been arrested and was facing jail time. I lost my internship that was critical for graduating college, and my marriage was on the rocks. 
      I was finally seeing the consequences of my drinking and careless lifestyle. I was wading through the wreckage of my life; maybe my life was always like this and I was finally waking up enough to care. The scripture above was what I clung to in all the circumstances. I would pray to God telling him, "I don't really know You, but I can feel Your presence in my life. Help me to stand on Your word, Your will. Make everything okay. Change me, I am all Yours. I'm submitting my life to you." 
     As I continually turned my face and heart to Him, peace that I never understood filled my thoughts, my body, and life. As I faced the judge, he gave me mercy which astonished my attorney and others who knew him. When I faced my professors and the vice chancellor about graduation, they gave me grace and time to complete other courses in place of my internship. This is something that rarely, if ever happened. When I came home in the evenings to my husband and baby girl, the mood was lighter and Chris was wanting to be home instead of at the bars. He was being drawn to God's presence. 
       Seven years later, this verse still resonates with me and my life has changed completely. I may not be facing trails like jail time or divorce, but God is still there for me in the little things. When there's chaos, crabby kids, piles of bills, obligations, and a mountain of laundry He's there for me to turn to. Because I put my trust in Him, I am fully submitting to Him. In return He brings peace, and His plans for my life unfold in ways I never expected.  
      As a mother, this is one verse we can teach our children. I've taught it to my youngest child who is 26 months. Though she may not understan all the words, the depth and essence of what God means touches her core. She fully trusts and knows that no matter what situation isn't going her way, it will turn out for the best. 

• What thoughts does this verse bring to mind? 
• Did you have a rough past life, has God made your paths straight?
• How do you teach this to your children?

Heart Of The Home Challenge Week 7

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
[17] Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!


     The scripture that I bring on this lovely Monday morning is one of my favorites. During the first few days of committing myself to following Jesus, I was bombarded with thoughts of my past. Everything, from how I thought, what I did, and the results of those actions caused me to feel unworthy, guilty, unclean, and not good enough to call myself a Christian. 
       Have you ever felt that way? Here's the good news, none of us are worthy...none of us are clean. It's one of the enemy's tactics to draw us away from Christ and back into his pit. The other part God gently reminded me of is the old Heather is dead and gone. Forgotten are the things I had done because I had been forgiven. God see's me as a new creation, if He sees me in that light, I too, need to look at myself in His light. 
     The next time you are feeling guilty about something in your past, take that thought captive and recite this verse. Remember who you truly are in Jesus. 


Are you a somewhat new Christian? What do you do when the world or enemy makes you feel guilty about your past? 

Reflections From My Heart

                 Ever get the feeling that there is more to your life than the way it is right now? It's like standing on the edge of an abyss knowing that you're supposed to cross it, knowing you will, and you're waiting for the right time. Even though there is no bridge in sight, you'll take a step out into thin air. You know you'll walk across without your feet ever touching anything, you'll walk across on the invisible hand of God. 
       Presently, that's how I feel. There's something more that God has intended to do with my life. The prospect is exciting and yet it scares me. I know that I've been called to reach other broken and incomplete hearts for God, to tell them of the passion and love that He's poured into my heart. 
        My heart has been ignited and the fire is roaring to share with the lost the essence of who He really is.  He didn't save me from suicide attempts, rape, mental illness, depression, and cutting to just live life the way I want to. There's a reason for it all. Sadly, many of my friends/family don't go to church, and the ones that do are just going through the motions. Here I am struggling to break free of the status quo, scared because I feel ill equipped and yet I want I want to pour myself out for Him. 
         It's just not in the area of writing and speaking to teen and women alike, it's also ministering to the hearts of my precious babies. Each has gifts and personalities created for the purpose God has in store for them. It's my heart's desire that each of them will not only obey God but also have the same unrelenting passion for Him. So here's a few thoughts for you to chew on.
      When was the last time you thought about His love and it made you cry? 
      When was the last time you called on His name in the night?
      When was the last time you asked Him about what He wants you to do with the gifts He's given you?
       When was the last time you sat down and actually had a conversation with Him? 
        Take this moment and think about His love, His purpose for your life. 

Intentional Steps: How Mamma Got Grounded

              How many times have you just said to yourself or to your girlfriends in conversation, “Well that's just the way life goes...”   or "I just don't understand how I let that happen..." Or “I just learn to roll with the punches.” What about, “When I get my schedule organized...” “After I get that promotion...”  I don't know how many times I said those things to myself as my plate began piling higher and higher with pleasing people, meeting deadlines, turning in papers for school, working extra shifts for someone else, apologizing profusely for missing school concerts, or canceling dates with my husband before I realized I wasn't living life intentionally. I was merely drifting in the ocean of busy-ness. I hadn't realized how overwhelmed, overworked, and unbalanced my life had become until certain armed authorities decided to put me in a much needed Time Out. I landed in a mental health hospital for a reprieve from the snow ball effect my schedule had on my life. I remember staring out the door listening to the administrator tell me about my options. I could either sign myself in willingly for a 48 hour stay; or she would use the state statute of 'Emergency Precautionary Care' and have the nice police officers escort me back into the building in handcuffs if I so much as set one foot outside the entrance. My stay would then be a mandatory 72 hours.

“Describe exactly what you mean by one foot,” I heard myself say as she handed me over the paperwork, glaring at me over my sarcastic responses. After being escorted to my lovely room of speckled linoleum, a twin sized hospital bed and bare furnishings, I dropped onto the bed and tried to ignore the voices screaming in my head about how badly I had dropped the ball.


“How did you miss the warning signs? What were you thinking? What is everyone going to think? How is Chris going to handle this? What about Cheyenne, how are you going to explain to your baby girl that you got grounded in the loony bin? What is the purpose of all this? How did I drift out of control?” (As you can tell, my mind races constantly.)


      Women these days have so many choices. Between career, family, church, and the community, it's easy to get lost and pulled into a thousand directions. And that's what happened to me. I was too busy pleasing everyone with what was expected of a woman in this new millennium. I didn't hear that still small voice who loved me exactly as I was and had a clear cut purpose for me. Instead, I listened to voices that were telling me I ought to get a four year degree and climb the corporate ladder. I also was supposed to balance pouring every effort, moment, and experience into my daughter. Let's not forget that because I wanted a family that I also felt pressured to contribute to half the income. Then there was gaining ground in the community with volunteering time and skills I didn't have. And working in areas that were not my passion in my church because I wanted to be included, to feel as if I fit in. Before I knew it, one thing or another was being added to my daily list of to-do's that it was no surprise I fell flat on my face when I fell into a deep depression having lost myself in the daily madness of it all.
Overwhelmed, exhausted, worried, stressed, and utterly alone was how I felt at that moment and I came  realized I had felt this way for more than four years. It was time for God to get my attention and because I tend to learn lessons the hard way, He took drastic measures!


     My friend Tricia who is currently planning a women's retreat found just the right scripture for living life intentionally.  Ephesians 5:17 says “ Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Be sure you understand what the Master wants.” God didn't say that I needed to get a degree, nor did he tell me I needed to be on every committee in the tri-city area. He also didn't tell me that I needed to make every moment a big moment with my child. Instead, He simply asked me to follow Him. We humans feel the need to make situations and life more complex for it to be meaningful. Somehow in the madness of it all, I left myself unprotected and lost all the armor needed to ward off the enemy's attacks, hence the lovely two night stay in a mental health hospital. I spent those two days realizing that in order not to have another mid life crisis, I needed to begin living life intentionally.


Upon arriving home, I set to work on focusing on where I felt I was called to be. I then looked at my schedule and saw what areas were causing stress and made all the calls needed to cancel out those activities and commitments. Finally, I laid my life in His hands and asked for the wisdom and guidance needed to chose His will, and His plans over mine. It was time to become intentional in knowing what the Master wanted.  The next few months became sweeter with each passing moment after I chose to clarify each step in serving the Master. I woke up one day noticing that I was smiling and joyful. I had said goodbye to the working world, tossed out all time wasting activities, reduced my commitments and centered my schedule around my children and husband. I found that the more focused and intentional I became about each day, the less stress I had, and I discovered out new interesting aspects about myself.


As I transitioned into this new sense of self, I realized that the only thing that mattered was people. Relationships. Clean floors and laundry suddenly fell to the bottom of my list. I made sure I was taking care of three areas that helped  me keep my focus and my sanity for that matter. Did I spend time with God today? Did I spend time with my children and husband? Did I reach out to a friend or two to stay connected outside of my family?


Maybe you were like me and you are in need of a time out. While I do suggest getting away from the demands and stresses of daily life, I don't recommend a suite in the hospital ward. In this day and age, it's so easy to lose our sense of self and be carried out into the current of busy-ness. Living intentionally for God with His goals in mind is a life long process. It's a step I recommend if you're feeling like your list of to-do's and schedule is a mile long with no end in sight. I invite you to come as you are and partner up with the Master. He will indeed guide you through.

Bleach Induced Relaxation

          

        There is something about the smell of bleach that just makes a woman feel centered and well...happy! Okay, maybe the fumes are really getting to me, but I feel so much better after a good scrubbing. After tearing apart the kitchen and scrubbing every inch of it, I am officially tired and relaxed. Maybe it had to do with the crazy morning I had.

        I woke up to a not so great morning after finding at least a gallon of water in my make-up box, and my husband didn't congratulate the news over the news I recieved of being the new Mommy Blogger for the column of coupons, deals, and steals for OC Family. Maybe my morning went downhill after I was late getting my oldest to school and my 2 year old fell down in the snow, screaming during the 15 minute round trip for school. Or maybe it was discovering the giant red paint stain on the lazy boy downstairs.

      So cleaning is like therapy for me. Instead of screaming at my kids, and throwing death glares at my husband, I opted to tear apart the kitchen. I was able to accomplish taking out some much needed aggression over the money lost from my make up and recoup the feelings that furniture  items come and go. At least I can be content knowing that the kids can now eat food off the floor if they want to; and being the ambitious corporate wired woman that I am, I can see the productiveness of my work through the spotlessness of the kitchen instead of meeting insane deadlines in the boardroom!

Your Worldview vs God's View

Psalms 1:1-2 (ESV)

[1] Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers
[2] but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.


     Part of my resolutions for 2011 is to know God's word by heart. As I go through this year memorizing scripture, I pray that you will join me and we can begin a dialogue about hiding His word in our heart. As mothers and women, our job is to be the heart of our homes. What better way to demonstrate Godly character than by meditating on His word day and night!


       As I meditate on the words of Psalms 1:1-2, it brings one thought provoking statement to mind. What drives the choices we make? We believe we make choices through a sound thought process. Its a script that incorporates our sense of right and wrong and what's best for us. In reality, its our worldview. Our world view is our past packaged and categorized by what has happened to us, the choices we've made, and the outcome of it all.
     Your worldview shapes how you want life to be. Its part of the core of who we are and shapes our future, our choices, and our decisions. So here are some thought provoking questions about your worldview.

• Have you always been a christian?
• Are your choices shaped by your past?
• Is your worldview painted by life circumstances or events that 'happened' to you?
• Is your worldview painted by the outcome of careful decisions you've made?

      Up until six years ago, my worldview was influenced by my past, I unknowingly operated out of fear. The  fear was the foundation and walls I built around my family, heart, and mind. Instead of making decisions out of a sound mind and judgement;  choices and decisions were made ensuring the walls I built would stand. After allowing Jesus to be the center of my life; He surveyed the walls and foundation of my heart and began demolishing the walls and the practice of operating out of fear. 
      Psalms 1 verse 2 is the key to this process. Meditating and on His word instills God's view instead our own worldview. Reading the Bible and memorizing His word is the foundation of a new heart and a new life. Meditating on His word means that not only are we reading His word, but we are allowing God to give us His point of view. We can then begin to operate under sound decisions that His law (the Bible) gives us. 
      Instead of calling your girlfriends to get advice about a choice this week, I challenge you to go to God first. Take this verse, write it on several note cards, then place these through out your house, workplace, and car. Memorize it. Then when a situation arises, allow God to speak to your heart through this scripture.

New Year's Resolutions. Another Turning Point

   1 You have searched me, LORD,

and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

   Everyone is already thinking of things to change, renew, or try as the beginning of the new year rolls around. Resolutions to quit smoking, yelling, lose more weight, and so on. After reading Psalm 139, I wonder how many of us are resolving to spend more time with God this year? With the ever increasing technology and media, it's any wonder that any of us are feeling close in His presence. As a mother, distractions, to-do lists, quality time, chores, pull us in 1000 different directions. How can we expect our children to grow up and love God if we are not the Heart of the home? Meaning, if our hearts aren't centered on Him, what should we expect from our little ones?
    Recently for me I've felt so distant from God. I haven't sensed His presence in awhile, nor have I heard His voice. Feeling empty and discouraged, my eyes came to rest on Psalm 139. Though I can't find God, He knows where I am. Though I hardly think of Him, His thoughts of me are too many to count. He knows all my ways and yet I barely know Him. Instead of walking away from me, God insisted on reminding me that though I feel empty, unmotivated, and tired, He is still with me. Such knowledge is too wonderful...don't you think?
      Doing a mental checklist of why I feel so distant, I'm making it my resolution this year to spend time with God instead of chasing after friendships, completing daily to-do lists, and volunteering to be on committee's; I'm choosing to spend time in God's word. I'm choosing to write in my prayer journal, and I'm looking to find Him in the moments that I spend with my family. What am I giving up? Not too much, just the t.v. at nap time and in the evenings, not to mention surfing the computer, or checking the latest up to date happenings on my phone. It will probably be more of a shock to my system than I anticipate, but it will be worth it. I'd rather chase after a God who is described in Psalms 139 than any other worldly thing that will only be here for the moment. I'd rather try and give it all that I've got instead of just going through the motions which seems to be what so many Christians are doing these days.
      It scares me to see how complacent fellow friends have become. I see women more concerned about climbing the social ladder to be the leader of next year's school fundraiser. I see women more concerned about their to-do lists than focusing on their kids. I see still others more focused on popularity instead of pouring themselves in the relationships that God wants them to. They are all losing sight and losing out on what God has originally in store for them, but most of all, they are missing out on His presence. Each woman prays about what she is doing, and where she is going hoping to have God's blessings; indeed she does have God's permissive blessings but not His perfect will in her life. I look at them and what I admire so much and then weigh it against the God of Psalm 139...and I want more, not just His permissive will to keep my life busy and seemingly full filled; I want His perfect will and His presence. I want to stand before Him knowing that I've chased Him as much as He has chased me. I'm ringing in the new year by stripping off the old complacent me and praying that He ignites my heart for more.

     On a side note: For those of you in the Mid West area, My Bride Radio just announced they are going to commit to learning scripture and blog about each of the verses. Stay tuned as I bring this opportunity to you as well. You can visit My Bridge at http://www.mybridgeradio.net/home

Repeat the Sounding Joy

 So now that it's minus 3 degrees outside, my kids and daycare kids have gone half nutty within these four walls we call home. Did I mention I have three active children? Granted my oldest is in school, so I make up for her absence with daycare kiddos. Cole and Kailie, sometimes Sam and Bella, and only on Fridays Avery and Aspen. All of them are under the age of 5. Actually Bella is 7 but the rest are 4 and under. My two kiddos Elijah and Tori are 4 and 2. While I was attempting to recuperate from performing in The Gospel According to Scrooge all weekend, my loving husband held down the fort. He kept the kids entertained but somewhere along the way of building forts, surfing down the stairs, and playing the Wii, house rules and chores went out the window.
    While I was busy sorting and putting away 18 loads of laundry, screaming erupted from the kitchen. My ever resourceful 2 year old figured out how to manipulate the fridge lock and was pulling a bag grapes out of the fridge while fighting off Cole and Elijah. After separating everyone into their respective corners and dividing up the grapes; the whining and screaming continued the rest of the day.
"Cole won't play my game."
"Tori is hitting me!"
"Elijah took my toys."
"I don't want to play with his bionicles, I want to play cars."
Of course each sentence proclaimed out the mouth of these babes was elongated with tears and whines. The sound of discontent continued to repeat itself the rest of the day...SIGH...this volume and tone sensitive Mama was literally counting down the minutes to bedtime. And then it came, the daycare kids went home, and two hours later my kiddies were asleep in their beds. The sounds of heavy breathing and snores mixing with the sound of the heater. They were asleep and I was free to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling listening to the sounds of sleep!
     Any other Mama out there that is dealing with kids trapped inside have any ideas how to keep the peace besides crafts, playdoh, and threats? If so leave a comment or two that could be of use over this very long winter!

It's a Girl Thing

   

  This morning my son is in total shock. Normally we have nothing but boys running around here with the exception of my youngest daughter Tori and my daycare kiddo Kailie. Both girls are pretty much tom-boys. Tori for example, likes to put her 'my little ponies' in her brother's big yellow Tonka truck and crash them into her dollhouse and would rather get muddy than dress up. So this morning when we had a set of twin girls dropped off to play, Elijah didn't know what to do. All the girls immediately formed a posse and deemed no boys allowed, while playing in Tori's Tinkerbell Room. They wanted to play dress up along with the my little ponies and Lige was left wondering why they wanted to play this way and why cars were suddenly not the cool toy to play with.
"Mommy can you call Sam and Cole to come over to play with me?" Elijah asked despondently.
"Sorry kiddo, their mamas aren't working today so they won't be coming over." I replied hugging him. He's usually the ring leader and everyone wants to play with his toys and his way. Not today.
"Mama, why do they want to put all those clothes on? Getting dressed isn't playing?"
"Lige, it's a girl thing, they like to feel pretty and pretend to be princesses."
"Oh, okay, that's kinda boring mom," Lige replied before scooping up his cars and headed to the basement.

Intentional Steps: How Mamma Got Grounded

              How many times have you just said to yourself or to your girlfriends in conversation, “Well that's just the way life goes...”   or "I just don't understand how I let that happen..." Or “I just learn to roll with the punches.” What about, “When I get my schedule organized...” “After I get that promotion...”  I don't know how many times I said those things to myself as my plate began piling higher and higher with pleasing people, meeting deadlines, turning in papers for school, working extra shifts for someone else, apologizing profusely for missing school concerts, or canceling dates with my husband before I realized I wasn't living life intentionally. I was merely drifting in the ocean of busy-ness. I hadn't realized how overwhelmed, overworked, and unbalanced my life had become until certain armed authorities decided to put me in a much needed Time Out. I landed in a mental health hospital for a reprieve from the snow ball effect my schedule had on my life. I remember staring out the door listening to the administrator tell me about my options. I could either sign myself in willingly for a 48 hour stay; or she would use the state statute of 'Emergency Precautionary Care' and have the nice police officers escort me back into the building in handcuffs if I so much as set one foot outside the entrance. My stay would then be a mandatory 72 hours.

“Describe exactly what you mean by one foot,” I heard myself say as she handed me over the paperwork, glaring at me over my sarcastic responses. After being escorted to my lovely room of speckled linoleum, a twin sized hospital bed and bare furnishings, I dropped onto the bed and tried to ignore the voices screaming in my head about how badly I had dropped the ball.


“How did you miss the warning signs? What were you thinking? What is everyone going to think? How is Chris going to handle this? What about Cheyenne, how are you going to explain to your baby girl that you got grounded in the loony bin? What is the purpose of all this? How did I drift out of control?” (As you can tell, my mind races constantly.)


      Women these days have so many choices. Between career, family, church, and the community, it's easy to get lost and pulled into a thousand directions. And that's what happened to me. I was too busy pleasing everyone with what was expected of a woman in this new millennium. I didn't hear that still small voice who loved me exactly as I was and had a clear cut purpose for me. Instead, I listened to voices that were telling me I ought to get a four year degree and climb the corporate ladder. I also was supposed to balance pouring every effort, moment, and experience into my daughter. Let's not forget that because I wanted a family that I also felt pressured to contribute to half the income. Then there was gaining ground in the community with volunteering time and skills I didn't have. And working in areas that were not my passion in my church because I wanted to be included, to feel as if I fit in. Before I knew it, one thing or another was being added to my daily list of to-do's that it was no surprise I fell flat on my face when I fell into a deep depression having lost myself in the daily madness of it all.
Overwhelmed, exhausted, worried, stressed, and utterly alone was how I felt at that moment and I came  realized I had felt this way for more than four years. It was time for God to get my attention and because I tend to learn lessons the hard way, He took drastic measures!


     My friend Tricia who is currently planning a women's retreat found just the right scripture for living life intentionally.  Ephesians 5:17 says “ Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Be sure you understand what the Master wants.” God didn't say that I needed to get a degree, nor did he tell me I needed to be on every committee in the tri-city area. He also didn't tell me that I needed to make every moment a big moment with my child. Instead, He simply asked me to follow Him. We humans feel the need to make situations and life more complex for it to be meaningful. Somehow in the madness of it all, I left myself unprotected and lost all the armor needed to ward off the enemy's attacks, hence the lovely two night stay in a mental health hospital. I spent those two days realizing that in order not to have another mid life crisis, I needed to begin living life intentionally.


Upon arriving home, I set to work on focusing on where I felt I was called to be. I then looked at my schedule and saw what areas were causing stress and made all the calls needed to cancel out those activities and commitments. Finally, I laid my life in His hands and asked for the wisdom and guidance needed to chose His will, and His plans over mine. It was time to become intentional in knowing what the Master wanted.  The next few months became sweeter with each passing moment after I chose to clarify each step in serving the Master. I woke up one day noticing that I was smiling and joyful. I had said goodbye to the working world, tossed out all time wasting activities, reduced my commitments and centered my schedule around my children and husband. I found that the more focused and intentional I became about each day, the less stress I had, and I discovered out new interesting aspects about myself.


As I transitioned into this new sense of self, I realized that the only thing that mattered was people. Relationships. Clean floors and laundry suddenly fell to the bottom of my list. I made sure I was taking care of three areas that helped  me keep my focus and my sanity for that matter. Did I spend time with God today? Did I spend time with my children and husband? Did I reach out to a friend or two to stay connected outside of my family?


Maybe you were like me and you are in need of a time out. While I do suggest getting away from the demands and stresses of daily life, I don't recommend a suite in the hospital ward. In this day and age, it's so easy to lose our sense of self and be carried out into the current of busy-ness. Living intentionally for God with His goals in mind is a life long process. It's a step I recommend if you're feeling like your list of to-do's and schedule is a mile long with no end in sight. I invite you to come as you are and partner up with the Master. He will indeed guide you through.

Beauty is as Beauty does...

2 Corinthians 5:17:
Therefore if any person is [ingratiated] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!
I gritted my teeth as the needle worked its way in and out of my skin. Various colors of royal purple swirled around the needle mixing with drops of blood as the needle worked its way into the shape of a butterfly. This would be my reminder, my testimony of God in my life. I was still very new in Christ and didn't realize at the time how controversial tattoos are, however; at the time I needed something marked on my body that I could visibly see that said "You are the daughter of the True King, you belong, I love you, you are beautiful, you are mine." I had just broken through another wall the enemy had been using in my life about beauty, about what it means to be a woman. My entire life I was told I was nothing but white trash, and ugly. There were times, I could literally feel the words, radiating from my forehead for all to see. The times that I felt most unclean was when I came into contact with other Christians. Whether or not they were physically attractive, I could see something that radiated from their face that was so beautiful, so pure. I didn't know what it was but I wanted it and found myself lacking each time I passed those them by. The closer I got to God, the more I was able to let Him into my heart and let Him love me. I was so scared of exposing my real self to Him or to the world and yet I was so tired of the self rejection and so tired of wrestling with the Word of God. As the days progressed into my walk with God, the more I wrestled with my guilt of my sins, with my past actions, and the more His angels professed his love for me. I still remember the when the walls starting falling around me and God was telling me He was strong enough for the both of us and I could stop fighting. He was strong enough to love me even when I couldn't! He was strong enough to love me when no one else could. I was on the phone with a dear friend and cried for what seemed like hours. Nothing was out of the ordinary that day, here on earth. But the Heavens were shaking. God wasn't finished with me when I first said that I would follow Him. He was just beginning and the dust had yet to settle. With Him, I left behind any trace of who I had been, I was tired of that life, of dressing to get mens attention, of pleasing others, of torturing my body, of losing weight to be paper thin, of being anybody except who I was meant to be. With my baptism and the loving support of others, I left behind all the traces of who I had been. I was desperate for change and starving for Truth.
I let go of all I held onto and hung onto that moment with God in His presence. For the first time I heard God calling to me, a name I had never heard, I was a Lily of the field, the cover of beauty. It didn't matter what people saw on the outside or knew what I had done; what mattered was that Christ was living within me and changed my heart. I never felt more naked, or vulnerable. And yet, no one came to take advantage of it. Instead, they loved me for who I was, and for who I was becoming.
Most gals I talk with are surprised that I have difficulty with compliments about my outside appearance because I don't see myself as beautiful and probably never will. I still get uneasy with stares and glances from women and men alike. But it's something I'm still accepting with grace. There was even a time when I was learning to change out my wardrobe when a dear friend told me "Girl you could wear a potato sack and still stop traffic!" Talk about wanting to hide and yet wanting to be seen...
There's something about every woman that draws the attention of every man. Its the mystery and captivating spirit that God created in each of us. The outside package may be appealing but its truly whats on the inside that captivates the heart of man because its endows the mystery of God! We all want to unveil the beauty of God in one form or another. "The desire to be beautiful, to have a beauty all our own to unveil is not primarily about our looks. It is a desire to be captivating in the depths of who we are...John & Stasi Eldredge. It's so easy for someone to crush that longing within each woman, whether it's an ad about makeup to a snide comment from a passerby about our looks.
The struggle we go through as a woman, as well as becoming who we were meant to be in Christ reminds me of the life cycle of the butterfly. Butterfly's will always be a promise to me from God that He can take anything and make it beautiful. Even in the journey, there are struggles, just as a butterfly struggles to leave its chrysalis; but there's beauty in the struggle, in the breaking! Because you emerge as a new creation, as the creature God intended each of us to be.