2 Tips to Create Lasting Impressions of Our Faith for Our Kids

First, we as mothers are to love our God with all our hearts, souls, and strength; secondly, we are to impress them onto our kids. How do we help our children cultivate their own faith instead of hanging off our apron strings? Our motto of doing as I say doesn't exactly work in the area of faith!

Children are clearly not impressed with the attitude and saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.” 

And neither am I for that matter, so I've been working hard to break this impression, especially when it comes to loving God. It's in what we say and do! 

Hear O’ Israel: The LORD  our God, the  LORD  is One. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to upon your hearts. Impress them on your children (Deuteronomy 6:4-7).

And Jesus reminds us the same in Mathew 22:37-40:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the law and prophets hand on these two commandments.

Our Hearts, Our Strength Create Lasting Impressions.

When I speak to other moms about shaping their children, I bring a box with three little balls of play dough; each represents one of my children. Cheyenne is my brightly multi-colored soft play-dough, she is easy to mold and shape because of the sweet deposition she has. Elijah is my modeling clay, he takes more squeezing and shaping, as does my third child, Tori with her victorious spirit and strong will.

The box itself represents my heart and on top of it, I glued “Love God with all your heart.” Because of God’s commandment to impress His word onto my children, I stretch each piece of play dough and modeling clay and press it over the top of the words on top of the box. As I peel off the dough, it shows God’s words imprinted, backwards.

Breaking The Mold When They Grow Up.

Likewise, what I impress onto my children will only go so far. The play dough will only pick up what is present in my heart. If we live out our words in front of them, they will have a true mold that is waiting to be filled with their own faith as they grow up.

So each day, I look at my box and I remember God’s commandment for my kids and each day is a chance to impress on them to love God. We sing songs, we go to church, we pray at meals, we right the wrongs, and we work at molding and shaping each of our kids. Our kids won’t live godly lives because we commanded them to, it has to be impressed upon them and walked out in front of them. 

A Whole Bunch of MomSense!

    There have been many times I’ve left the park, grocery store, and several other public places with my tail tucked between my legs, ashamed of how I failed to parent; wondering what God ever saw in me to make me fit as a mother. Have you had those days? You know the kind where you put your foot down, set a boundary, which results in your children smelling your fear and pushing the envelope because they know you will cave? Have you had other moments when you unsure how to parent your child; teetering between seemingly sound advice from a friend and your inner voice screaming it won’t work? Guess what mom, you aren’t alone, I’m right there with you!

   Frustrated I would read books, parenting articles, or ask advice only to have it backfire in ways I never expected. The ironic part is deep down I knew it would.  After twelve years of trying everybody else’s advice and parenting methods, did I finally decide to trust my own instincts. I had an epiphany late one night after winning a standoff with my daughter. I realized I needed to have confidence in my skills as a mom. After all, if the God of the universe thinks I can mother my children, then just maybe I can! It also helped (immensely) that I had the opportunity to read and apply Jean Blackmer’s book, MomSense throughout the summer.  ‘Mom-huh,' you might be asking? MomSense is trusting your own mothering instincts and applying common sense, creating MomSense.

    If you’re a mom overwhelmed with articles, blogs, magazines and mountains of books on the how-to’s of parenting, then it’s time to take a step back and zero in on what Jean had to say about mothering. What I loved about Jean's insight is that she suggests we embrace our mothering instincts and stand on the confidence that God created us with the right tools to mother our children.  When we tune out all the types of parenting methods, and tune into our heavenly father while trusting our instincts, we find ourselves mothering with confidence.

    Granted we may not always have the answers and it’s helpful to know we aren’t alone while we navigate the territories of motherhood. Once we feel like we’ve found a groove, the rhythm is interrupted by a new skill or behavior our kids have learned. As Jean writes, we need to grow our Momsense and trust it with each new stage, not being afraid to ask for advice when needed. She also reveals that we are not alone in the questions we have or the stages we face. Using answers and comments from moms all across the country, she not only gives us insight and advice to mothering; it strengthens confidence in ourselves. We find that we are not alone in our questions and wanting to be the best we can be for our children.

    Now days when I venture into public with my children, I’ve come to expect that they will act like monkeys instead of children; however I’m not afraid to mother them with the MomSense that I’ve developed in areas like patience, consistency, and calling their bluff when needed. 

     If you are a mom full of questions about mothering, this book is perfect to read at leisure or in a small group. It's packed full of insight and encouragement to be the mother God created you to be. So, my fellow blogger moms, here are a few questions to get the discussion on today's post started:

•  As a mother, what areas in mothering do you feel like you have no clue how to parent?
•  What mommy issues make it difficult for you to keep in perspective?
•  If you could ask the author one question about mothering, what would you ask?
•  How has the book, MomSense grown your confidence as a mom?

A Dancing Lesson

    

(I posted this in August, but with all the emails I've been getting, it's time for a refresher course on dancing!).
When we first learn to dance, someone takes us by the hands and directs our steps. How we loved to be the center of attention as we twirled and captivated our partners. From the time we are little girls learning to dance on daddy's shoes, to being all grown up, someone has held our hands as we danced.
     So how is it in the dance of life that I learned to be so independent? How is it that I decided to dance on my own? Between accepting my daughter's autism, and nearly losing this new pregnancy, I decided that it was much easier to dance by myself than to dance with God.
     Have you been there? Life has overwhelmed you with a new reality while you are still tending to healing scars? Have you decided to take on more than you can balance or maybe your partner is taking a breather; leaving you to continue dancing by yourself?
    My mentor mom Roxie called me the other day and though she was just calling to check on items for MOPS, the words she spoke sounded the end of this dance of independence. I could hear God whispering, "Heather, no worries, just follow My lead. I'm going to teach you exactly what to do. No one else can dance this dance quite like you--if you hold My hand."
     All too often life catches up to me and I am afraid to reach out to others whom God has placed in my life for friendship and support; and the friends who I do reach out to, I keep at a safe distance in the thought that I can do this by myself. Last night as I heard God speak these words to me, I realized how much more beautiful dancing can be if I have a partner and I let Him lead.
    

MomSense

    I think I'm finally getting used to my own ways of being a mom, everyone has a different mothering style, voice, tone, technique and approach. So imagine how excited I was to review this year's theme for MOPS and to read the book, MomSense. Jean Blackmer, an acquaintance of mine who wrote MomSense simplifies motherhood. Instead of getting caught up in the hype of what could damage your child, the best way to potty train, breast versus bottle, and more, she encourages moms to take in all the advice, listen to your own instincts and do what works for you and your family.
        This insight is something I definitely need to be reminded of often. I used to feel bad as I watched other moms use quiet tones and distractions, while I was busy defining exactly where the boundaries were each and every moment for my kids. My parenting style needed to be different and I wondered if it was such a bad thing. That's just it, MomSense is about trusting your own instincts, weighing the options of professional advice and running with what works for your child. Sometimes the stage changes and you have to stand back and weigh the options again. Learning to accept who you are and what works for your family makes motherhood oh so much easier, it takes the pressure off of competing to be mom of the year don't you think?

The Shape of Motherhood

     Ever feel like a ball of play dough? If I were to describe myself at the moment, that would be it, a fresh new peice of play dough that is no longer sitting round and unshaped in its container. Instead, I'm in God's hands being smashed, kneaded, pulled apart, and reshaped. In this new season of motherhood, there are several things reshaping my heart, my view of motherhood and God. Cheyenne's diagnosis of Aspergers squeezed everything I knew about God in my heart. Then there's a new development in my son's behaviors, which is leading us down a familiar road of A.D.H.D., all the while, I'm trying to balance my writing career, on top of juggling the mommy domestic dailies and the new behavior and learning issues of my first two kids.
    God is using all these circumstances to tug and pull me into the shape He wants me to be, and here I thought motherhood was about raising kids. In reality, God is using motherhood to shape me. He is using my children to bring to the surface areas that need His hands. He is molding me because I need Him. We all need Him. If we are willing to place ourselves in His hands, count on God molding, shaping and reshaping you into the design He intended. Tricia Goyer's book title caught my eye, the book Blue Like Play Dough: the shape of motherhood in the grip of God says it all. It speaks volumes to my heart in one sentence. Though I haven't read the book yet, I can imagine how God used motherhood to shape her heart as well.
     In a way we all are like balls of play dough and God is asking us if we want to be shaped for His design. It's up to us to bring our insecurities, our worries, our perceptions to Him. In the process of life, He will use our children as His hands to do the shaping. It comes through the sleepless nights, insisting on whats best for your toddler and so much more. He will use diangosis' of disorders to tugg our hearts into the direction He wants us to lead. Though sometimes it's painful, He alone sees the finished design.

The Confident Mom

    

    What is it about entering a room full of your peers and you're suddenly launched back into middle school with the geeky glasses, painted on jeans, and a bad perm? This is how I felt every time I entered a room full of other moms. Now add to the fact that I all I saw of these women were their abilities to mother in ways I could not. They were calmer, more affectionate, more creative and more patient. Now I know I shouldn't compare but I somehow felt I missed the memo on motherhood; I wondered how they seemed to have it together and I didn't.  When our kids played together in groups, I was apologetic of my child's behavior and felt poorly dressed in my decades old jeans and tees, while the other moms seemed so polished with well behaved preschoolers.
    Motherhood was never really part of my plans and now I that I am one, I feel like I'm winging it most of the time (and I love motherhood by the way). One afternoon while I was having another ranting session with God, asking Him for the millionth time to tame my children's behaviors, He spoke to my heart.  He knew my abilities, my personality, my temperament. He then created children that He knew I could parent. It was time to stop comparing myself to other moms and embrace who I am as a mother. It was time to embrace how other moms mothered as well. He was asking me to be okay with myself and be the bold mom He created me to be (and maybe take some time to go shopping). It reminds me of verse Psalms 118:8, "It is better to trust in the Lord that to put confidence in man." He doesn't want us comparing ourselves to others for our confidence, instead we need to keep our eyes on Him!