When we first learn to dance, someone takes us by the hands and directs our steps. How we loved to be the center of attention as we twirled and captivated our partners. From the time we are little girls learning to dance on daddy's shoes, to being all grown up, someone has held our hands as we danced.
So how is it in the dance of life that I learned to be so independent? How is it that I decided to dance on my own? Between accepting my daughter's autism, and nearly losing this new pregnancy, I decided that it was much easier to dance by myself than to dance with God.
Have you been there? Life has overwhelmed you with a new reality while you are still tending to healing scars? Have you decided to take on more than you can balance or maybe your partner is taking a breather; leaving you to continue dancing by yourself?
My mentor mom Roxie called me the other day and though she was just calling to check on items for MOPS, the words she spoke sounded the end of this dance of independence. I could hear God whispering, "Heather, no worries, just follow My lead. I'm going to teach you exactly what to do. No one else can dance this dance quite like you--if you hold My hand."
All too often life catches up to me and I am afraid to reach out to others whom God has placed in my life for friendship and support; and the friends who I do reach out to, I keep at a safe distance in the thought that I can do this by myself. Last night as I heard God speak these words to me, I realized how much more beautiful dancing can be if I have a partner and I let Him lead.
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post today. I too have found myself being very "independent" at times. Pushing God and people away. That is definitly NOT something God wants us to do! We need Him and others, no matter how we may tell ourselves otherwise. I have a son with a rare chromosome disorder, so while I don't face the exact situations you do, I do know life can sometimes be a "stage I don't wish to go out on" :)
Kelly
Great post! I find it 'funny' how I can cross my arms across my chest and say "I can do it myself" like that of a toddler determined to prove one's new found independence yet I struggle to keep my 'childlike faith'. I love your way of describing it as a dance. It is SO much easier when God takes the lead. I step on my own feet otherwise!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
Brandi