A Dancing Lesson

    

(I posted this in August, but with all the emails I've been getting, it's time for a refresher course on dancing!).
When we first learn to dance, someone takes us by the hands and directs our steps. How we loved to be the center of attention as we twirled and captivated our partners. From the time we are little girls learning to dance on daddy's shoes, to being all grown up, someone has held our hands as we danced.
     So how is it in the dance of life that I learned to be so independent? How is it that I decided to dance on my own? Between accepting my daughter's autism, and nearly losing this new pregnancy, I decided that it was much easier to dance by myself than to dance with God.
     Have you been there? Life has overwhelmed you with a new reality while you are still tending to healing scars? Have you decided to take on more than you can balance or maybe your partner is taking a breather; leaving you to continue dancing by yourself?
    My mentor mom Roxie called me the other day and though she was just calling to check on items for MOPS, the words she spoke sounded the end of this dance of independence. I could hear God whispering, "Heather, no worries, just follow My lead. I'm going to teach you exactly what to do. No one else can dance this dance quite like you--if you hold My hand."
     All too often life catches up to me and I am afraid to reach out to others whom God has placed in my life for friendship and support; and the friends who I do reach out to, I keep at a safe distance in the thought that I can do this by myself. Last night as I heard God speak these words to me, I realized how much more beautiful dancing can be if I have a partner and I let Him lead.
    

MomSense

    I think I'm finally getting used to my own ways of being a mom, everyone has a different mothering style, voice, tone, technique and approach. So imagine how excited I was to review this year's theme for MOPS and to read the book, MomSense. Jean Blackmer, an acquaintance of mine who wrote MomSense simplifies motherhood. Instead of getting caught up in the hype of what could damage your child, the best way to potty train, breast versus bottle, and more, she encourages moms to take in all the advice, listen to your own instincts and do what works for you and your family.
        This insight is something I definitely need to be reminded of often. I used to feel bad as I watched other moms use quiet tones and distractions, while I was busy defining exactly where the boundaries were each and every moment for my kids. My parenting style needed to be different and I wondered if it was such a bad thing. That's just it, MomSense is about trusting your own instincts, weighing the options of professional advice and running with what works for your child. Sometimes the stage changes and you have to stand back and weigh the options again. Learning to accept who you are and what works for your family makes motherhood oh so much easier, it takes the pressure off of competing to be mom of the year don't you think?

Teaching Moments from My Son

      What is it about soon to be five year olds and their mission to be obnoxious? At this point, I'm really hoping that it's just a stage and my son will not grow up to be a not so funny comedian. Lately our mornings begin with him kissing my rear (yes, my rear) and then farting before he dashes off screaming like a loony tune character.
     In his eyes, everything is a joke or can be, plus the more he can irritate Mommy, so much the better! When I've had enough, and begin chasing him through the house to send him to his room, he finds this hysterically funny. He also considers farts, burps, and strange repetitive nosies funny too.
     As annoying as my son is at the moment, I have to sit back and admire his zest for life. He will be five next month and has a unique perspective on life, he enjoys the simplicity of what he's been given. He somehow seems to know that life is a gift and every moment, good or bad is to be enjoyed. Case in point, when the poor kid has diarrhea, he will nearly fall off the toilet as he laughs robustly about the nosies coming from his other end. Most of us would be miserable, instead Elijah is laughing about it.

    In any given case, I am trying to see the world this his eyes. Sometimes I think the very reason God wanted us to raise children is because of their fresh perspective on life, to view the world like it was brand new. As we age, we tend to lose that child-like faith and point of view, especially after trials and tribulations we all face. This perspective is especially important to me as I'm continuing to walk through some dark moments. Elijah reminds me that the God is here with us, walking besides us. We can give Him our trials and hurts still be able to smile through it all. Even though Elijah's mission in life at the moment is to be as obnoxious as possible, he is teaching his mommy some very important lessons!

The Confident Mom

    

    What is it about entering a room full of your peers and you're suddenly launched back into middle school with the geeky glasses, painted on jeans, and a bad perm? This is how I felt every time I entered a room full of other moms. Now add to the fact that I all I saw of these women were their abilities to mother in ways I could not. They were calmer, more affectionate, more creative and more patient. Now I know I shouldn't compare but I somehow felt I missed the memo on motherhood; I wondered how they seemed to have it together and I didn't.  When our kids played together in groups, I was apologetic of my child's behavior and felt poorly dressed in my decades old jeans and tees, while the other moms seemed so polished with well behaved preschoolers.
    Motherhood was never really part of my plans and now I that I am one, I feel like I'm winging it most of the time (and I love motherhood by the way). One afternoon while I was having another ranting session with God, asking Him for the millionth time to tame my children's behaviors, He spoke to my heart.  He knew my abilities, my personality, my temperament. He then created children that He knew I could parent. It was time to stop comparing myself to other moms and embrace who I am as a mother. It was time to embrace how other moms mothered as well. He was asking me to be okay with myself and be the bold mom He created me to be (and maybe take some time to go shopping). It reminds me of verse Psalms 118:8, "It is better to trust in the Lord that to put confidence in man." He doesn't want us comparing ourselves to others for our confidence, instead we need to keep our eyes on Him!