Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Are You an Angry Mom?


     
     Hold the phone ladies, back away from the Proverbs 31 wife perspective for a moment. I think we missed a chick that had far more superior wisdom several books ago. Sure we all want to be diligent, finding favor in our husband’s eyes and being called ‘blessed’ by our children; but in order to have this kind of life we need to build our families up.
    For the last few months God has graciously brought another area to the surface. I've uprooted addictions, insecurities, become more disciplined and now that things are somewhat calm around here, and it’s time to work on something that no mom or wife really wants to talk about...ANGER. It's time to work on my issue, being called quick tempered, Irish, or needing anger management isn't so funny anymore. It's especially eye opening when I see them tense up and back away from me as my voice gets louder and my body gets increasingly tense.
     Last week I got to travel with a good friend of mine to a speaking engagement and I got the nerve to tell her about the issue and the struggles of trying to change. She replied that some of us don’t ever get out of the anger cycle because it works for us. That’s right ladies, we have a temper because, “It works for us.” Think about it, does your child stop his/her behavior when that pot boils over? Does your husband give your space or allow you to do what you want to do?
     I’ll admit it, my temper flaring is my biggest weakness, and when it flares how then am I supposed to build my family up? All the diligence and buying of fields in the world isn’t going to matter if my attitude and words tear my family at the seams. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Anger and frustration get in the way of calm voices, and words that could shape my children’s hearts. Instead, anger causes hurt feelings, careless words, and leaving family member’s feelings very insecure.
    Before I can pursue being a Proverbs 31 woman, I need to pursue the wise woman who builds up her family. I’d much rather build my children and husband up in their esteem and confidence, I’d rather focus my energy on investing in their lives as God intended me to. 

3 comments:

  1. Oh my, this hit me over the head! I really struggle with this, but it's embarrassing and difficult to admit. God must be trying to teach me something, because it feels like you wrote this for me (and your last post, too!) ... thanks for being transparent and for sharing.

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  2. Funny the timing on this --- I am struggling with this, and my oldest, who is married and away from home reminded me of how lousy a mom I was. I still have two at home, and just wanted to run away... None of my kids have ever left their faith in Christ, but I do feel like a failure the majority of the time.

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  3. I agree I felt you wrote this for me today. I struggle with this and have prayed and asked to help but like you said, it works for me. Mostly because it's a control thing. I can't control or make them do or not do what I am asking so I react instead of respond. to be honest it's a lot easier. Let's be in prayer for each other on this issue of anger. I also love resources and Gary Chapman has a book out on just this topic so check it out and I will to.
    Thanks
    LL

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